


Collateral Damage

by schneefink



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Coffee, Comment Fic, Crack, Goa'uld, M/M, SGA/SG-1 crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-02
Updated: 2009-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneefink/pseuds/schneefink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mer'deth's Jaffa have been known to raid worlds for coffee and chocolate because someone screwed up in the labs and they needed to appease their god.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Collateral Damage

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lord of the Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/5125) by lavvyan. 



> Originally posted [here](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/353668.html?thread=10297220#t10297220), as a commentfic to lavvyan's original cracky premise fic.

"So, any new ideas on who did this?", General Hammond asked and pointed at the pictures showing the wreckage of Sokar's massive Goa'uld fleet in orbit over PX3-543.

"Not… exactly, sir", Carter said hesitantly, "Apparently it happened a few weeks ago. The Tok'ra are most disturbed that it took them so long to notice. As far as they know, none of the other System Lords should have had the resources to do something like this. But the people on the planet had some potentially interesting information."

"Well?"

"It appears that they have long-standing "trading relations" with a group of Jaffa. The Jaffa show up irregularly every couple of months, take some sacks of beans the inhabitants set aside for them, and in return occasionally repair their irrigation system or similar machines", Jackson explained.

"Free Jaffa?", Hammond asked, intrigued.

"No, they seem to be quite loyal to their god, at least that's what the people said. Their sign looks like the infinity symbol – that's the eight lying down. Teal'c says that he hasn't seen that symbol before, which means that the Goa'uld is either very young or hasn't been active in the last decades."

Teal'c tilted his head in affirmation. "Apparently, the Goa'uld did not demand worship from the people on the planet."

 "That means there's a Goa'uld out there hiring out his Jaffa to repair water pipes in exchange for beans", O'Neill sounded almost amused.

"That's… a possibility, yes", Jackson said slowly.

"Yeah, well, doesn't sound as if he could blow up Sokar's fleet."

"I know, sir", Carter said, "it might be completely unrelated. The Tok'ra are, of course, concerned about anyone with so much power and have promised to investigate further."

"I've got a feeling they might know which Goa'uld they're talking about. Haven't said a thing, though", O'Neill remarked and grimaced.

"The people on the planet are convinced it was the Jaffa. Apparently they promised them extra beans for getting rid of Sokar", Jackson added with a straight face.

Hammond looked at the pictures again and sighed.  "Tell me if the Tok'ra find anything. Doctor Jackson, see if you can find anything on this Goa'uld or his symbol. Dismissed."

***

"Remind me again why I didn't just fire them", Mer'deth muttered angrily.

John just laughed. _Because they brought you coffee as a peace offering, remember?_

"Oh, yes, there is that." They continued to work on the broken console; technically, Mer'deth worked, but John had picked up quite a bit of engineering skills – _more than those useless Jaffa_ , Mer'deth used to complain – and watched with great interest.

"I wonder where they get the stuff from", Mer'deth said after a while. "Since I'm their god, they should give it to me anyway."

 _You probably don't want to know_ , John said and Mer'deth could feel him grinning. Well.

"As long as it's good coffee", he said, loud enough for the Jaffa nearby to hear him. Just in case.


End file.
